Stitch the Child
He a student but I a student
And certainly not qualified to wield scalpels
But mom doesn’t cringe, well not again,
Not after the butterfly bandaid snapped off
And I could taste bone, the iron aftertaste of its gloss,
I am not as great as I thought I was
When, wind-whipped, I did not simply glide
but danced over the hardened water,
as if a sailor on his twentieth voyage,
a jockey on his tenth circuit,
My feet blades that cut the ice
shook slivers into the air, crystal shards
that reigned down on the dawdling,
I may have laughed at them,
I wanted to be seen,
See the bone, taste the bone,
five entire snakes under my skin
crawling as I scream
quietly they ask and mom was so unconcerned,
so relaxed, I eased my shoulders and stifled my breath
I blame my brother for it,
If he was faster I would not have
And while nothing slivers in my skin,
The white of the bone stays on my chin.
I like how well this follows the prompt for today (which I found difficult to follow). I think it's very challenging to tell a story without actually telling the story and finding interesting side description and tangents to keep the reader engaged. I like how you repeat imagery and description of "the bone" throughout, which keeps the reader interested and aware that this injury is at the center of the story, but you're able to very naturally slide off into other description without losing the reader.
ReplyDeleteI like how well this follows the prompt for today (which I found difficult to follow). I think it's very challenging to tell a story without actually telling the story and finding interesting side description and tangents to keep the reader engaged. I like how you repeat imagery and description of "the bone" throughout, which keeps the reader interested and aware that this injury is at the center of the story, but you're able to very naturally slide off into other description without losing the reader.
ReplyDeleteSo this happens while skating? The "hardened water" is, of course, the ice. And some misshap/accident occurs, and it is all beautifully rendered, but you do manage not to divulge the story! There is wonderful family drama too. Those snakes under the skin (the tendons?). Great! Am I guessing right?
ReplyDelete